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Updated: Dec 3, 2021

Culture merging.

Its beautiful and its a process.

We are a Black American and Tanzanian (East African) couple and even though Joseph is considered "Americanized", his first memories are deeply rooted in the East African culture.

We came into the marriage with a great respect for each of our unique upbringings. We visited "home" to put things into perspective, but we still had hurdles to jump through.

Some may have thought: how do two people, who grew up in two different nations with different customs and traditions find a happy medium? Well, we say patience, exposure and humility and openness.

I didn't understand how relatives that we never met could be so comfortable with repeatedly requesting $$.🤔

He didn't understand why I didn't see the purpose in having beer/wine/liquor as a standing item on the grocery list to stock the bar.😐 #Culture.


We refused to leave this merging process open for satan to destroy what God put together. And, we weren't afraid to challenge each other, ask questions and make adjustments (even if that meant forgoing the cultural practices we've known all our lives). If you are struggling in this area or will be marrying someone of a different culture, we challenge you to:

◾Be patient (be mindful of the learning curve)

◾Immerse yourself in the culture (visit, read, try the food, etc.)

◾Act humbly (...its not all about you!)

◾Be open (ask questions & learn all you can)

Intercultural marriages can be tough but they are DEFINITELY possible -- fight for it!! The beauty of it all? You get to pick and choose which traditions and customs you will continue for your family!

If you want more strategies on how to become one when you are from two different cultures, check out our course, Marriage is a V.E.R.B., which will help you address the four unity pillars that help bring peace to the marriage unit. Click below for more information on how to get started in this on demand online course.

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About Marissa & Joseph

Joseph and Marissa Msefya have been together for 11 years and married for 7. They are millennial parents, Certified Marriage Coaches, published authors and the Founders of Forever Marriages. They help millennial husbands and wives desiring oneness, build lifelong Christ-centered marriages.

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