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Updated: Jan 10, 2022

When we say community is life changing, we mean it. Having a network of two to five people around you that loves you and your spouse can keep you going in the midst of a storm, uplift you, push you forward, grow you and affirm what you believe to be true (or denounce foolish talk).

The benefits of community are endless but we still have to undo the myth and correct the lie that "you shouldn't tell anyone your marriage problems." Often now, I find myself pushing back on this statement via social media because I believe it causes couples to be more isolated in marriage than needed.

Privacy is a great thing but not to the extent to where you don't share anything with anyone

It's troubling to read over and over again that keeping your marriage biz between you, your spouse and God is the #1 piece of advice for new couples (at least on Facebook) while husbands and wives are struggling in all different areas.

Please don't buy into this.

You will find that while you shouldn't share everything with everyone, there are people you can and should share some things with along your marital journey, especially when you feel you can't talk to your spouse or you aren't getting anywhere with them.

So, Who Do You Talk To When You Can't Talk To Your Spouse?

First and foremost, before talking to anyone I urge you to prioritize talking to God.

He is the author of marriage right? He is your creator, your good good Father, right? He does care for you and Psalms 139 reminds us He is always there. I promise He wants to know and can provide you with the wisdom, strength, peace and everything else you need to help you.

He also provides you with people.

A trusted friend.

A mentor.

A professional.

A community.

Building a marriage community as an adult does require effort and when you find the people you can trust, who love God, value marriage and have the best interest for the both of you, you will breathe much easier and be able to shift G.E.A.R.S. You will bring your marriage to the next level or speed!

G.E.A.R.S. stands for:


You gain new insights and wisdom through the experiences and stories of others. When you share your life and open up to people they can point things out to you that you may have overlooked, giving you a fresh new perspective. Iron sharpens iron. Reflect on Proverbs 27:17


We are spiritual relational beings and God created us to be in fellowship with one another. His 2nd commandment is to love your neighbor like yourselves. One way to do this is through lifting each other up by our actions and/or speech.

Reflect on Mark 12:31 and 2 Thess. 2:10


We all need that one person who can check us and reach us! Consider joining this community where you will meet authentic, faithfilled people who desire to be surrounded by other married couples.


This is best summed up in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 which states, "two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls one can help the other up". When we fall

So, be encouraged in knowing that you CAN talk to other people about your martial issues. More than likely that person can relate or has a resource to help you get the clarity and help you are searching for.

We have several ways for you to meet couple friends and be in community! Make sure you are connected with Forever Marriages on social media platforms (@forevermarriages) and check the event page often so you don't miss out on ways to build your village.

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About Marissa & Joseph

Joseph and Marissa Msefya have been together for 11 years and married for 7. They are millennial parents, Certified Marriage Coaches, published authors and the Founders of Forever Marriages. They help millennial husbands and wives desiring oneness, build lifelong Christ-centered marriages.

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