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Updated: Dec 28, 2020

Do you ever miss the way things used to be, but know that it's impossible to turn back?

For the first 5 years of marriage, Joseph and I did everything together. We carpooled to work daily, worked out when we felt like it gym, went to the grocery store, restaurants...I mean everything.

That changed when we brought our baby girl home and although people warned us that everything would change we didn't really understand what that meant or looked like for us.

We are happy about where God has our family presently. but I occasionally think about our old life where we could get up and go at the drop of the time and have a night cap at Brusters lol. Us against the world, you know? To miss what was once reality is very real in marriage and I encourage you to embrace it. Maybe its not children that has changed your life but a new job, taking care of a parent, or the impacts of COVID-19.

It is ok to miss your old life and have moments of reflection. I encourage you to embrace it and not be ashamed of how you feel because it is 100% natural and normal.

Even as you journey through different stages of marriage (newlywed to mid year, mid year to seasoned, etc.) you will experience many changes and seasons. Time will keep moving forward and there will be new priorities, new situations, and things you just have no control over. This is an opportune time to take elements from the past that you and/or your spouse enjoyed and embed them in your present life.

When I find myself in that place, all of the memories come flooding in and there are so many emotions attached with it. I can find myself stuck in that time period reminiscing and almost being able to place myself back in that specific time and place. All of my senses are engaged and some great ideas are triggered because of it. I eventually snap out of it, but what helps is being free to stay there for a little bit.

I encourage you to do that.

When you find yourself thinking back to how life used to be with you and your spouse, don’t rush that. There is something invigorating about journeying backwards; it is inspiring and refreshing; a great time for idea generation. Those memories are yours forever.

Praying for your forever marriage!

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About Marissa & Joseph

Joseph and Marissa Msefya have been together for 11 years and married for 7. They are millennial parents, Certified Marriage Coaches, published authors and the Founders of Forever Marriages. They help millennial husbands and wives desiring oneness, build lifelong Christ-centered marriages.

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