• Forever Marriages

KEEPING THE MARRIAGE FLAME LIT

Updated: Dec 22, 2020

They say everything changes when you expand your family, and they are right but the thing is we have more control over what changes and what doesn't. Joseph and I have tapped into our creative minds to keep our marriage healthy and alive. After the birth of our daughter, Amani, we immediately felt the reality of exhaustion and a never ending “to do” list with little time to do it all. Then add in getting used to the post-partum body/body changes, breastfeeding and everything else...let just say those first 3 months after birth were so tough. The things that were routine for us like greeting each other with a kiss, praying together or even eating together quickly became foreign. We had to be more intentional (there’s that word again) and find ways to keep this flame from totally burning out.

What we both started to realize is self care must be prioritized in order for the marriage to thrive.

If we don’t have energy, are not eating well, haven’t done anything to bring peace and joy in our lives (empty cup) we cant possibly give anything to our marriage or to anything else.

We got some really good tips from friends and different social media influencers and started putting things into practice.

Below are some of the specific actions we took (and are still doing) to keep our love and energy going:


1. Prioritize self care

2. Prioritize nurturing spiritual intimacy

3. Take advantage of the lunch hour (get creative)

4. SERVE each other

5. Discuss sexpectations and schedule sex

6. Find something you both enjoy while baby sleeps

7. Flirt throughout the day

8. Get in the habit of doing one thing you used to do


So what about you? Which one above have you done or planning to do? What would you add to the list?

We know this stage of marriage, with a young kid or kids, can break marriages so we pray that all of you reading will do your part to pour into yourselves, your marriage and your children.


If this is an area you and your spouse want to work on further so that your children will see a healthy prioritized marriage in the home, please book a complimentary 30 minute call so you have the support you need. We are here for you and we are praying for you!

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About Marissa & Joseph

Joseph and Marissa Msefya have been together for 11 years and married for 7. They are millennial parents, Certified Marriage Coaches, published authors and the Founders of Forever Marriages. They help millennial husbands and wives desiring oneness, build lifelong Christ-centered marriages.

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