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Updated: Mar 6, 2021

Military service often causes us to be physically apart from each other (like right now), which can leave us feeling disconnected. In fact, since being married we have been apart more than 315 days. With that being said, we have to make a concerted effort to check in with each other emotionally. Many factors, such as the household, our child, business, ministry, and life can easily take over any conversation very quickly. We can get entangled with the business and mundane routines of life, resulting in emotional distancing and a superficial connection.

Aside from military families, there are other professions, jobs, and situations that cause couples and families to be apart for extended periods of time. Right now, we know some of you may be experiencing this and we know some in the FM community are still working because they are first responders, medical professionals, or essential personnel. To you, we send a heartfelt thank you and we pray for the safety and wellness of you and your family during these times. Maintaining a healthy connection with your spouse (especially during stressful life disruptions) requires a deliberate effort and we want to offer three suggestions on ways to connect throughout the day:

1. Go old school and write a letter Before they head off to work, slip a note in their lunch bag, wallet or post a note on their steering wheel reflecting on a funny story, telling them why you love them, or sharing why you admire them. 2. Use technology Be creative and find a way to check in with your spouse even if they can't receive phone calls or speak on the phone during the day. There is always voice messaging, email, video, or social media. Pick one or a few and express how you feel! 

3. Go deeper

If you have an opportunity to talk on the phone, ask probing questions such as, "what was the best part of your day?", "What is one goal you are aiming to accomplish today?", etc...

As they share, dig deeper and affirm their feelings, but make sure not to do all the talking. You want to allow space for your spouse to open up and share their heart with you.

Key things to remember:

  1. Try to check-in multiple times throughout the day.

  2. Make sure to laugh!

As Certified Marriage Coaches we are here to help you and your spouse discover the best ways to become closer emotionally so that your sexual and financial intimacy soars!

Reach out and let us know how we can help by clicking here.

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About Marissa & Joseph

Joseph and Marissa Msefya have been together for 11 years and married for 7. They are millennial parents, Certified Marriage Coaches, published authors and the Founders of Forever Marriages. They help millennial husbands and wives desiring oneness, build lifelong Christ-centered marriages.

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